By Donna Bond
It is in the resistance to the unpleasant parts of our lives that keeps us in the suffering. When our idealized crystal views about ourselves are shattered and the fragments of our soul come spilling over the edge of our lives, it is only in the acceptance that we are able to be free. It is only in the forgiveness of ourselves, for being human, that growth can and will occur. It is only in the allowing of the pain that moves us through. And the only way out is, indeed, through.
In the resistance of what is there in your personal nightmare or tragedy: the wishing it never happened, the push back in disbelief of “how could this be my life?” “How could this happen to me?” “How could God allow this to happen in my life?” In the resistance our suffering is great as we push against what is. What is cannot be rewound, it cannot go backwards—it is what it is. The only answer is acceptance.
To move into acceptance does not make “it” okay, whatever “it” is for you.
Acceptance does not mean you asked for it or wished for it. Acceptance by no means is your endorsement of what is. Acceptance is moving into a place of peace, moving into the reality, the allowing of what is—to just be. Acceptance is saying, “I am dropping the resistance because this thing can’t be argued.” “It is the reality of what has occurred, even if I don’t like it.” Only in moving into acceptance can we bring ourselves closer to transcending the awfulness. In moving into acceptance we come into alignment with what is. We become neutral.
Only when we get to the stage of neutrality, only then, can we move into forgiveness; forgiveness of the circumstances, forgiveness of the resistance, forgiveness of ourselves. To move past the really horrible pieces of our lives, we must forgive life, each other, God, and above all else, we must forgive ourselves.
Forgiveness and acceptance, together, unites—I am human, I am a spiritual being, I am having a human experience. I have made mistakes that are, physical-world reality, defined as bad or wrong or unforgivable, but on a soul level we know that all of our experiences, and especially the really awful ones, are the ones that put us on the path to growth. On a path of opening to ourselves, to God, and to the beauty of the human spirit. Ultimately, it is these experiences that are wrapped together with the lessons we came here to learn. It’s in the depth of grief and sadness that we can see the truth of who we really are, and it is in the acceptance that we surrender to what is. It is in the forgiveness that we let go of the resistance, the pain, the suffering, and the holding that will stifle our lives for the rest of the time we walk on this planet. And the only way out is, indeed, through.
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